“Perhaps you think your therapist has mastered self-control, but they are human too. Just like all of us, they occasionally find themselves blushing with anger. Theoretically, experts know how to cope with anger, but under stress, therapists can flare up in a split second. In this state, they, like everyone else, become impulsive, anxious, and prone to overly intense reactions,” says clinical neuropsychologist Amy Serrin.
Each of us can learn to overcome anger, restoring calmness and clarity of thought. This involves developing healthy habits and learning techniques based on understanding how the brain works. So, what do psychologists do to manage bursts of rage?
Table of Contents
Where to Begin: The Stop Technique
Katie Leikam, a psychotherapist from Georgia, advises:
Stop: Pause your reactions.
Breathe: Take a deep breath and return to the present.
Observe: Look around and pay attention to what’s happening.
Assess: Give yourself a couple of minutes to evaluate the situation and act based on new information.
“When I start to get angry, I immediately stop myself, think about where the anger is coming from, assess the situation, and only then take action,” she shares.
“When I feel anger rising, I count to three, assess the facts, and try to understand if the anger is justified,” says Meg Josephson, a psychotherapist from New York. “When you’re angry, you need to evaluate how actions can affect the situation, so you don’t ruin relationships with others.”
How to Listen to Your Feelings: Managing Emotional Turbulence
Family therapist Daniella Bloom suggests that when emotions overwhelm her, she takes a few deep breaths (inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth). This helps shift the brain from “fight or flight” mode to a calmer state, allowing the release of resentment and moving forward. The key is to engage all senses, “knocking them off the track” of anger. “I go outside to breathe fresh air, stomp my feet on the pavement a couple of times to release accumulated aggressive energy, inhale the scent of calming essential oils, or listen to soothing music,” she explains.
When to Express: Speak to Yourself First
“Suppressed feelings don’t disappear; this is especially true for anger and resentment,” notes hypnotherapist and life coach Ty Kane. Suppressing emotions is harmful; allow yourself to feel and express them. Rather than giving in to an outburst, use imagination. Feel the anger and imagine expressing it without restraint. Instead of shouting at the irritating person, do it mentally, think about what you would like to say.
To Give or Take Time: The Power of Pause
“Avoid reacting impulsively to emotions, which can lead to unpleasant consequences,” advises Daniella Swaim, a psychotherapist and eating disorder specialist. Taking a pause to reflect on emotions allows you to defuse the situation and avoid impulsive actions. She typically takes a walk, drives around, takes a few deep breaths, and gives herself time.
In conclusion, managing anger involves a combination of self-awareness, physiological responses, and thoughtful actions. These insights from psychologists offer practical techniques rooted in understanding the intricacies of human emotions. Remember, it’s normal to feel anger, but how you manage and express it can significantly impact your well-being and relationships.
FAQs
How to Use the Stop Technique?
Katie Leikam, a psychotherapist from Georgia, suggests:
Stop: Pause your reactions.
Breathe: Take a deep breath and return to the present.
Observe: Look around and pay attention to what’s happening.
Assess: Give yourself a couple of minutes to evaluate the situation and act based on new information.
What is the Countdown Technique, and How Does It Work?
“When I feel anger rising, I count to three, assess the facts, and try to understand if the anger is justified,” says Meg Josephson, a psychotherapist from New York. “When you’re angry, you need to evaluate how actions can affect the situation, so you don’t ruin relationships with others.”
How to Listen to Your Feelings During Emotional Turbulence?
Family therapist Daniella Bloom suggests that when emotions overwhelm her, she takes a few deep breaths (inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth). This helps shift the brain from “fight or flight” mode to a calmer state, allowing the release of resentment and moving forward.
When to Express Anger: Is It Healthy to Hold Back?
“Suppressed feelings don’t disappear; this is especially true for anger and resentment,” notes hypnotherapist and life coach Ty Kane. Suppressing emotions is harmful; allow yourself to feel and express them. Rather than giving in to an outburst, use imagination. Feel the anger and imagine expressing it without restraint.
“Avoid reacting impulsively to emotions, which can lead to unpleasant consequences,” advises Daniella Swaim, a psychotherapist and eating disorder specialist. Taking a pause to reflect on emotions allows you to defuse the situation and avoid impulsive actions.
